Restorative Reflection: Silencing the Self-Saboteur

We all have an inner critic—a relentless voice that magnifies our missteps and doubts. It can be easy to look back on our actions or inactions and spiral into self-judgment. But what if we could transform these moments of reflection into opportunities for healing and growth? By managing our inner critic, we not only foster a growth mindset and improve our own well-being but also contribute to creating a psychologically safe environment for ourselves and others. Here’s how to turn self-criticism into constructive self-reflection with the CLEAR approach:

C - Cultivate Awareness: Recognize and name your inner critic. I don’t mean calling it Bob or Sue, but rather identifying when our inner critic is taking control. This creates distance from the negativity and starts the process of self-compassion.

L - Lean into Journaling: Adopt a “Growth Journal” to record learning moments and insights. While this practice can be challenging (I haven’t nailed a routine with this one!), research shows that viewing and documenting challenges as learning opportunities, rather than failures, can shift your perspective.

E - Embrace the 5-Minute Rule: Allow yourself five minutes to process and reflect (the self-doubt phase), then pivot to action or positive reframing to avoid getting stuck in negativity.

A - Adopt the 10/10/10 Process: Consider how you’ll view this moment in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years to gain a broader perspective and lessen immediate self-criticism.

R - Reflect with Empathy: Consider how you would advise a friend in a similar situation. Offering yourself the same compassion you would give to others can ease harsh self-judgment.

Do you have other strategies for managing your inner critic and enhancing self-compassion? I’d love to hear about them! I welcome you to be my accountability partner in this practice of kicking the controlling critic to the curb. I’m here to help do the same for you!